Use Self-Reflection To Discover What Works Best For You
Time Management Skills Series: Skill 05
Have you ever considered that your thoughts are really not your own?
Has it dawned on you that more than 80% of what you embrace and classify as truth, is really untested assumptions which will eventually fail you and make you look foolish?
Take a stroll through your history and consider all the people who gave you their way of seeing and interacting with tasks, people, feelings and ideas.
- Your parents and close relatives during early childhood.
- Your teachers during various phases of your education.
- Your friends as you moved towards pre-teen years.
- Your most valued relationships during teen years.
How you think, what you value and where you invest your time was inherited from other people (during various phases of your life).
Am I suggesting that something is wrong with getting knowledge from others?
No, that's not what I'm suggesting.
This conversation is about using self-reflection to discover what works best for you. No one is more committed to increasing your quality of life than you. Therefore it's imperative that you begin to discover what really matters to you.
This requires you to ask new, and sometimes challenging questions. In the movie Higher Learning, John Singleton ends with a simple, yet life-changing message:
The first one is a given - LEARN. You've been doing this your entire life.
But what you UNLEARNED?
What old ways of doing things have you given up because something better was offered and you recognized its value?
How often do you give yourself permission to try new things, have new conversations and visit new places?
While conversing with a friend about career options and some basic components of life purpose, I suggested that she take out a sheet of paper and write down 5 things that she really enjoys doing to serve others.
After she completed the exercise, she told me that the circumstances of her life had not opened the door to considering what she enjoys. By giving herself permission to explore my suggestion, she discovered new and exciting possibilities for her career. Her encounter with self-reflection unleashed passion that she didn't even know was present.
As a result, she launched a project which put her on track to carryout her purpose. All of this happened because she decided to challenge what she had known, embraced and accepted as true.
Now you have an opportunity to do the same.
It's a little more structured than writing down 5 things you really enjoy doing while serving others.
The process is called putting your dream to the test and it's based on a book of the same title. Prior to suggesting the "5 things exercise" to my friend, I'd invested 8 weeks meeting with a life coach. Initially, it was curiosity that prompted me to sign up for her sessions. I wanted to learn what life coaching do.
This turned out to be the best decision for that entire year.
The conversations with my life coach restored my courage and made me think about what I really wanted. Each session made me challenge some fear (about my lack of value) that I'd picked up over 20 years with the same employer.
She was relentless about requiring me to answer the questions. No ducking and dodging. I had to stop, think and respond.
I retired from that employer (shortly after completing those coaching sessions) and started with a new company with better hours, pay, benefits, work environment and colleagues.
All because I was willing to build up the courage to interrogate my unfulfilling reality.
I'd like to introduce you to my coach, but not until I know with absolutely certainty, that you will follow her lead.
We'll start off with a few questions that will help you learn to appreciate self-reflection. Take out a sheet of paper, write down the first question and answer it. Continue this process until you've answered all 9 questions.
- What matters most in your life and why?
- Who matters most in your life and why?
- What are you holding on to that you need to let go of?
- What have you done this week worth remembering and sharing?
- What have you quit doing because it was too hard?
- What characteristic about yourself do you value most?
- What valuable characteristic about yourself do you take for granted?
- Who has had the greatest impact on your life and why?
- Who have you positively impacted because of the investment you make in your self?
After you answer these questions, let's talk.
Complete the form below and we'll schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation to help you get on track to doing fascinating work and enjoying the life you're creating each day.